Sleep Academy

29 weeks

She's a clever thing, mother nature. Aside from the fact that I am managing to grow a whole human being inside of me (a bit mind-blowing in itself), mother nature has also put me on a mum-to-be training programme.

It started three months into the pregnancy: I began sleeping quite badly and only managing about one decent night in every four. Now, at nearly six-and-a-half months pregnant, it's gone down to about one decent night in every seven. By the ninth month I expect it to be around one decent night in every 30 days.

Unfortunately, Husband, by virtue of sharing the same bed and being somewhat of a light sleeper, has been thrust into the same sleep academy training programme as me whether he likes it or not, thanks to my thrashing around, kicking covers off, getting up at 2.30am and so on.

So what's mother nature up to? Well, getting us ready for when BabyG arrives, I think. Everyone knows that when the baby comes you get one decent night's sleep in well, every when-Grandma-offers-to-babysit-for-the-night. But even then, you're likely to be lying awake worrying that poor Grandma is being kept awake all night by your offspring.

So the things is, I'm not sure whether mother nature should have started her training sooner and perhaps put me on a more intensive course, because when BabyG actually gets here, realistically, we'll be getting about one decent night's sleep in every 18 years.